Blog Post

Julie Lamb • Feb 25, 2020

Deciding the Impact

I love being a therapist. But I do not like how therapists are described as "only concerned with the past."

Well, of course I am concerned with the past. We all are. However, we don't need to stay there.

While our past shapes how we may view things, it does not get to define our future.

All of us have a past. All of us have stories that we use to say why we are the way we are. And all of us use those stories as reasons for either changing or not changing.


There is a show on PBS called "Super Why". My girls loved this show because it was all about stories.

In every episode, the main character, Wyatt, tries to save the day by fixing the problem in the story. To which every character replies "I can't. It's in my story."

Now, it would be great if we could all "zap" the part we want changed and put in something else, but often we cannot.

However, we do get to decided what that story will mean to us. We get to decided if we will allow the past to control our future.

I have had many clients tell me, "I am sad or overwhelmed because I have always been this way." Or "my (anxiety, depression, or abuse) causes me to act this way."

We are not a product of the labels we use to define ourselves. And we are not defined by past experiences. While they are a part of our story, they are not our future.

To "zap" that part of our story, take it out and examine it. Look at the beliefs that come from it. Then ask yourself: Do I want this to define me?

If you are ready to take action in letting go of past beliefs and creating a new future, contact me and lets talk about how I can help you break free and rediscover joy.

By Julie Lamb 18 Apr, 2023
Julie Lamb, licensed therapist and life coach has helped thousands of people take control of their mindset and careers by helping them understand their most powerful strategic asset, their brain. Join her as she takes you on a path of personal growth and understanding of the who, what and whys of your thoughts and behaviors. Have you ever thought to yourself, “Why in the world did I do that?” If yes, this is the podcast for you! Follow on: Apple Spotify Google Amazon
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How many of us say "I'm sorry" as a reflex, even if we aren't sorry? Or maybe you don't say "I'm sorry" but instead you say or think: I didn't mean it How do I make this right It's my fault Often apologizing is a a form of people pleasing. It is easier to just take the blame and move on then to actually try and change something. One of the biggest offenders comes from trying to please our family members. And when we don't we have a huge amount of guilt. I am giving you permission to stop saying "I'm sorry". Here are 8 things you need to stop apologizing for right now: Setting Boundaries : A boundary is simply a way to protect yourself physically and emotionally. One of the hardest parts of setting boundaries is believing that it is okay to set that boundary. Think about what you need to feel okay and then set a boundary to respect that. Choosing to Put Yourself First: It is okay to acknowledge when you need "me"time. We have all heard the analogy of putting our own mask on before helping someone put theirs on. When we are drained, we don't have anything else to give. So, maybe you need to set the boundary of protecting your "me" time so that you can give more of yourself later. Believing in Yourself and Going After Your Dreams: What if you wanted to do something different that all those around you...can that be okay? You are so much more capable then you give yourself credit for. No one can take away your dreams unless you allow them to. So, dream big: what do you want from this life? Having High Standards and Expectations: Never lower your beliefs just to fit in. If you don't want to do something, then don't. We tell our kids this all the time, so why do we try and become something we aren't? Wanting More out of Life: Just because no one in your family does it, doesn't mean you cannot. How many times do we applaud those that are the first in their family to do something? Why not applaud yourself for taking a path that makes you happy. Needing Some Alone Time: As an introvert, I totally relate. It also goes with needing to recharge yourself. Step away, take a break, and then good things will happen. Outgrowing People that Had A Chance to Grow With You: It's okay to change friends. Many of us don't have the same friends from high school. And many of us make new friends that challenge us to grow and move forward. Be the one that challenges others to keep moving forward. Saying No with No Explanation: No means no and that is okay. Often when someone wants an explanation it is because they don't respect boundaries. You can tell someone when something is not okay and also have the courage to walk away. Take a look at the list of 8 things to NEVER apologize for. Which one do you want to make stronger? If you are ready to stop apologizing and move forward in your life, set up an appointment with me today to help you be your best self.
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Anxiety, Depression and Trauma, can be extremely tricky...one day you feel fine, and the next things feel out of control. I created a list of 5 things to ask yourself everyday to just check where you are at: 1. How am I feeling today, mentally and physically: Anxiety will manifest in your body as headaches or stomachaches. so make sure you take a moment to consider how you are handling all the things around you. 2. What am I thinking about the most: In the Anxiety Workbook I share how our thoughts create our feelings. If you are thinking a lot about things you cannot control, how is that howing up in your feelings? 3. When did I last do something just for me: I mention eating because it is so important to take care of our basic needs. Are you eating regularly, and what are you eating? 4. Am I tired: I get it, life can be filled with so many things that drain us. Are you getting enough sleep to tackle those things? Studies have shown that the best sleep occurs between the hours of 10 pm - 2 pm. Are you sleeping during those times? 5. What can I do today that will bring me joy: Are you scheduling time during your day for something you love, or want to do? Having something to look forward to will help in all those moments of anxiety. If you feel that one or more areas are off, take a look at what might need to change. If you would like help getting them back on track, schedule an appointment where we can talk about how I can help coach you through your anxiety. xx Julie P.S. Don't forget to follow me on Facebook where I share more tips and stories.
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